I always say disappointment is the nurse of wisdom, and I do believe thats true. Yes, you may learn from the feeling or situation, but you may also feel like crap. The key to make that awful, internally hurtful feeling go away or at least worth it, is attempt to realize disappointment will lead to knowledge. Some type of gained wisdom will occur that you may have not realized prior to being disappointed. You will take away from that hurt and learn something about others, whether good or bad, or maybe even about yourself. I also know I rather be the one disappointed, rather than disappointing other people.
Anonymous asked: i want to be androgynous because im not pretty enough to be the female i want to be but then im too much of a woman to be man i know i am...i think about it everyday
Unfortunately society places a lot of stress on our physical appearances. To me, yes I admit I care about what I look like, but I place a lot more importance on my personality and what makes me, me. Try to figure out what makes you who you are and what you want to be. No matter how difficult it is, dress and be how you feel the most comfortable. If you want to act or dress as a male one day and a female another, do it. I imagine it can be an exhausting process but just try to shut your mind off and do what you feel most comfortable with, other people if true friends and family will stick with you. The best advice I can give you from the information I am happy you shared with me, is to put yourself first and try to be as happy as you can. Do not dress a certain way solely to please anyone else but yourself. If you want to be a female, act and dress to whatever you may interpret that as. Things will happen on their own but being what society has “labeled as pretty” is not what will make you feel better in your own skin. So focus on what makes you feel most comfortable when you are behind doors and on your own, and eventually it will show in front of others. I hope this helps, any more questions or things you wish to tell me, feel free.
Please feel free to ask for advice or share a story or anything on this page. Through experience we all learn so if I can provide an outside perspective then great. If you want to share a problem or anything…go for it
An old Post Secret
What should we expect from others? What do others expect from us? It is hard to realize that everyone has different expectations of you and you of them. What makes a friend? What makes something out of line but to them seems completely normal? In order to get along with others I have had to lower my expectations. By all means I am not saying I am anything near perfect but over the years I have been let down quite a lot. I need to apprehend that people are raised differently, and shaped differently. Some people are taught to say thank you while with others it does not even cross their minds. The problem is deciphering where the line is. All of us have flaws yes, but to what extent are they acceptable? Something everyone should do is realize all of us are uniquely raised and molded in a variety of ways. Give someone a break every now and then and if it is something far more serious then you can step back and see what kind of person they are. Just attempt at trying to understand, maybe put yourself in their shoes.
Unfortunately the 5 things listed below in my last post are not as ‘simple’ as reading it is. I believe the first one is the easiest; freeing your heart of hatred. It takes far more energy to hate then to love, or at least be neutral. Hatred affects yourself more negatively than the person you’re directing it too. So why not realize it’s not worth it and at the very least stop hurting yourself while attempting to hate another?
The second thing listed is not easy at all, at least not for me. If I could free my mind from worries I would be a much happier overall. Worrying less is also something I admit I need to work on. So far what helps me is to stop and realize that worrying will not fix anything but just waste time. It’s an almost useless emotion, right up there with hatred.
‘Living simply’ does not imply you cannot buy and spend money on things that make you happy, just do not buy excessive crap. You do not need the same dress in several colors and makeup pouring off you. If you want to buy a boat, buy the practical one, not the flashy pointless speedboat that you drive around in slowly to show off your purchase. Live simply, and efficiently.
Give more is actually simple…. GIVE. Donate clothes, time, money, even share experiences. Help someone, however you can. There are no excuses.
The last one, expecting less, I also struggle with on a daily basis. It is extremely difficult to accept the idea that all people are raised differently. Whether in different homes, incomes, locations, or with different parents, there are numerous circumstances one can grow up with. Understanding some people were not taught to say thank you, or offer help to friends, is hard to wrap your head around. Recently I spent hours exhausting myself for friends without them even asking me for help. As I see it, they are my friends so why not give them a hand. I lost time, no matter if it was 10 mins, or the several hours it was, I sacrificed something for someone else. I was then left with no help in return and excess work they left behind for me. I spent so much time worrying about everyone else I ended up losing time I needed to move. I did not get offered help in return and was still left with a massive amount to deal with. I got a soda and a muttered ‘thanks’ out of it. Now I never wanted anything in return, just to see it was appreciated (a sentence will do). I was at first annoyed, then angry, then frustrated when it came down to me being alone moving and cleaning for 4 people. So I broke rule 2, because I worried over something that could not be changed. I did oblige to rule 4, but I put others before myself, and that can only be done circumstantially. Taking care of yourself is taken far too lightly. Now rule 5 I did not listen to. I expected ‘thank yous’ and at the very least not leaving me with even more work that ended up in my lap once they left. I often hold high expectations of people and then end up disappointed. So as I said before, expect less from people. The higher your standards are for people the harder they will be reach. I am not saying settle for a bad girlfriend or friend, just realize and understand people will be ignorant sometimes. Sometimes they’ll generous, and all are raised multiple ways with multiples and various beliefs. No one is perfect but one thing we all have in common is a common goal, happiness. We should all just strive towards that goal and help each other out to then become happy.